Just a plain pest.

Please. Don't wake me up before you go-go. I'm tired and this dream is saving me from the shame, indignity and lengthy, scrub-laden shower I would face if you, in fact, woke me up before you went-went.

Dirty Dancing, Indeed...

I had the time of my life and it lasted for about three months. Now I swear I've never felt THIS way before: Agitated, severe burning with urination, deep self loathing and a wish to return to my Catholic roots. I swear - it's the truth. And I owe a few things to you:

1) less room in my dresser drawer
2) A seething hatred for Grey's Anatomy
2) a two week prescription for powerful antibiotics


Thanks for the memories.

In Excess of Everything Stupid.

There are several things that could tear us apart:
1) Infidelity
2) Constant fighting
3) Lack of physical intimacy
4) An angry bear

But if I could actually make wine from your tears - I would suck on your face for eternity.

She was bald, not right.

It's been 7 hours and 15 days - I've had 135 hours of sleep, 16 breakfasts, 15 lunches and 15 dinners. Somewhere in there was a delicious, rare roast beef sandwich with blue cheese, frisee and caramelized red onions on a fresh baguette. I chased that beast down with a frosty pint of Guinness. That compared.

Roy Orbison wore prescription sunglasses.

Pretty Woman - I do believe you're pretty much exactly the truth. And to be honest, I've seen plenty other "ones" that look as good, if not better, than you.

Benny should've just left town...

Quite frankly, I would not walk 500 miles. And if I wouldn't walk the first 500, I most certainly wouldn't walk 500 more.